


Please Don’t Leave Me

by tabbytabbytabby



Series: Game of Thrones Season 8 [21]
Category: Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: Angst, Bad Things Happen Bingo, Bittersweet, Episode: s08e03 The Long Night, F/M, Season/Series 08
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-12
Updated: 2019-06-12
Packaged: 2020-05-01 19:47:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,323
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19184422
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tabbytabbytabby/pseuds/tabbytabbytabby
Summary: The fight with the dead happens. Jaime and Brienne fight side by side. Until Jaime gets hurt protecting Brienne, and the reality that they might not make it out alive comes crashing in.





	Please Don’t Leave Me

**Author's Note:**

  * For [LovelyLittleGrim](https://archiveofourown.org/users/LovelyLittleGrim/gifts).



> I swear I want to write happy fix it fics but then this happened. Mostly because I still keep thinking that if they were going to kill Jaime it would have just been better to kill him in episode three. So here we are.
> 
> For the Treasured Possession Destroyed slot of Bad Things Happen Bingo. Which I took some creative liberties with what that means.
> 
> Gifting this to Amanda, my fellow angst queen ❤️

The night is cool and still. Too still. Everyone stands with their eyes forward, waiting. Brienne's hand twitches against the handle of Oathkeeper. Jaime shifts next to her and she glances his way. Their eyes meet, and Brienne's heart clenches in her chest.

It's hard to believe he's really here standing beside her. That he came all this way to fight for them against his sisters wishes.

That's just who Jaime is. He might put up a front and pretend that he doesn't care, but she knows deep down he does. She's seen it.

He's far more than the man the rest of the world sees. He's _good_. Gentle even. Something she never would have thought he could be when they first met.

She thinks of last night. How he knighted her, giving her something she'd only been able to dream of. How after he'd come to her, and when she'd questioned why told her it was because he couldn't think of a place he'd rather spend his last hours than by her side.

He'd kissed her then, his lips moving softly against hers. The hesitation in them had broken something in her. It was as if he'd been worried she'd push him away.

She hadn't.

She'd gathered up every ounce of her courage and kissed him back.

Jaime had spent the next few hours before the horns sounded whispering quiet confessions against her skin.

She sees the same look in his eyes now. One she's seen countless times before but had never been able to put words to. Now she can. Clearly and without question.

_Love._

She lets her finger brush against his hand and he smiles. "Are we crazy?" he asks her.

"We must be," Brienne says. "No sane person would fight the dead."

Jaime laughs quietly, "I suppose someone has to do it. The things we do for honor."

"And love."

The words come easily. It isn't lost on Brienne how their roles seem to have changed. Not that Brienne has lost her honor. It will always be there. But she's learned it's not the most important thing.

"Yes," Jaime says, his eyes softening. "And love."

A throat clears beside her and Brienne turns her attention to Podrick. He nods his head to somewhere ahead of them.

Just like that Brienne's focus shifts back to the looming battle. The time for words is over.

It doesn't take long for Brienne to realize that no amount of training could have ever prepared them for the massacre that happens. And it is a massacre. There's no other word for it.

Jon Snow had been right when he warned them that this enemy doesn't tire or feel. But they do. Yet they still hold firm. Even when they fall back beyond the gates of Winterfell they keep fighting. They don't have a choice. It's either keeping fighting or give up and die.

They know the chances of dying are high either way. They've seen it. But at least if they die fighting they'll die with honor.

She thinks of how the old Jaime would have reacted to that. How he would have scoffed and called them all fools. But this Jaime, her Jaime, fights just as hard as the rest of them. Maybe harder.

She feels a sense of pride at the way he easily slips into a command role. And people follow. He might be a Lannister but here he's one of them. He's fighting the same enemy they are.

Jaime and Pod are always close to her. She makes sure of that. They all fight well together. Podrick especially is able to hold his own. Something she'll have to commend him on once this is all over.

She doesn't let herself think about how there might not be an afterward. There has to be.

It's hard to think with the way they're currently surrounded. The dead unrelenting in their attack. Brienne's body aches all over but she keeps fighting. For herself. For Jaime. For Podrick. For Sansa. For all the innocent people that are counting on them to hold off the dead and keep them safe.

Brienne grunts and drives her sword into the back of the creature that was going after Pod. He gives her a tight smile in thanks before turning his attention back to the other dead. Because there is always more.

Except now they're fighting dead with faces that once belonged to their friends and allies. Brienne tries not to think of that as she stabs a man who once worked as a stable hand. The time to mourn would be later.

"Fuck," Brienne mutters, bring her sword down once again.

"Now that's not ladylike," Jaime says. She glances his way to see him giving her an amused smile despite their suggestion.

"We both know I'm no lady," Brienne counters. She places her back against his as they continue to fight.

She hears Jaime chuckle, "I think we proved that wasn't true last night, Ser Lady Brienne."

She wants to tell him that isn't proper. But the words don't come. Instead she laughs, driving the blade of Oathkeeper into the dead of the dead woman in front of her.

"You both have really poor timing," Podrick tells them. "As always."

"You should be used to us by now Podrick," Jaime yells back.

Brienne sighs, "He does have a point." She grunts and brings her sword down. Again. And again. And again. "Battle is hardly the time for conversation."

"You know how I've always enjoyed a good battle," Jaime reminds her.

"Yes it gets your juices flowing, I know. But you won't have any juices to flow if you're dead."

Jaime laughs again, "All the more reason to stay alive then."

Brienne sighs, "You're impossible."

"But you love me," Jaime says. She doesn't miss the hint of vulnerability in his voice. Even now, in the heat of battle.

Brienne sighs, "Seven help me, I do."

The fight continues. Brienne loses herself in it. The only thing she remains aware of, almost unconsciously, is Jaime and Pod.

She hears a yell from behind her and turns to see Podrick being swamped by the dead. She doesn't think before moving to help him. Her sword slashes out as she fights to free him from the dead.

"Brienne!"

She hears Jaime's panicked scream and turns in time to see Jaime fighting off a wight that is standing far too close to her.

Her mouth opens, Jaime's name on the tip of her tongue. But all that comes out is a scream when she sees the sword enter his chest.

His eyes meet hers, wide in surprise. "Brienne."

Brienne lets out a yell of pain and rage and starts swinging her sword out at the dead surrounding her and Jaime. Jaime keeps fighting.

She fights harder than she ever has. Determined to keep them both standing. Surely this would be ending soon. It has to. One way or another. And then she would get Jaime help.

She would save him.

That's what they always do. They save each other.

This time wasn't going to be any different.

They find themselves with their backs pressed to the wall of the castle. Brienne's focus is torn between fighting off the dead and making sure Jaime is still standing. By some miracle he is. He's fighting just as fiercely as before. Even as the dead threaten to overtake them.

It all ends suddenly. One moment Brienne is slashing out at the wights with Oathkeeper. The next the dead are all dropping around them.

Brienne stands there, her back pressed to the wall as she tries to keep her breathing under control.

They'd made it. They'd survived.

Her sense of relief is short lived when she turns to see Jaime crumpling to the ground next to her. She's by his side in an instant, taking him into her arms and pressing her hand over his still bleeding wound.

"Jaime," she whispers, her voice hoarse from all the yelling.

Jaime turns his head, blinking up at her. "Brienne."

"Hold on," she tells him. She raises her voice. "Help! We need help!"

"There is no help," Jaime tells her. "It's too late."

She hates that he's right. With all the death and destruction it could be hours before anyone could reach them. They don't have that time."

"I can go find supplies," Brienne says. "If we can stop the bleeding and get you stitched up…"

Jaime grips her arm tightly, "No. Please. Don't leave me."

Brienne wants to laugh. She should be the one begging him not to leave her. Instead she turns to Podrick. "Can you…"

He gives a tired nod, "Of course."

"Hurry."

Once he's walked away she turns back to Jaime. There's blood pooling around his lips and his eyes are unfocused.

He gives her a tired smile, "I always wanted to die in the arms of the woman I loved."

Brienne can't fight back the sob that escapes her, "Stop it. You're not dying."

"I think this once you're wrong, Brienne."

She leans down and kisses him, soft and sweet. Much like their first kiss. It feels like a million years ago.

"Thank you," Jaime says, his words barely above a whisper. She doubts she'd hear them if she wasn't so close. "For seeing me."

There are so many things Brienne wants to say. Each one feeling more inadequate than the next. She hates herself for the words that come out. For not being braver.

"Please don't leave me."

Jaime gives her a sad smile, "I'll never be far. You always had my heart Brienne."

The tears keep streaming down her face as she rests her forward against his. "I love you."

She doesn't let herself look away from him. Not until his eyes close and she feels him go still in har arms. Even then it's only because the tears stinging at her eyes become too much for her.

She screams.

For Jaime. For all the life that was snuffed out this night. For herself, and her chance at happiness being destroyed. It had been so close. Those small, treasured moments they'd shared.

Even last night she'd had hope that there would be more. That they'd still have time. But time has never been on their side. That much is clear now.

How could it have been when it brought them together just to rip Jaime from her again.

She's still clutching Jaime to her chest when Podrick returns.

"Ser," Podrick says, his voice soft.

Brienne’s eyes lift to meet his. She can only imagine what he’s seeing. She’s usually so controlled. But she can’t bring herself to care. It’s hard to care about anything with Jaime lying still and dead in her arms.

Podrick’s eyes drift down to Jaime and he swallows thickly. “Maybe you should…”

“I’m not leaving him,” Brienne says, her voice firm. “I told him I wouldn’t.”

“Podrick?” Tyrion’s voice sounds nearby. Brienne feels a pit form in her stomach. “Thank the gods you’re alright. Have you seen my…” his words stop as he steps around Podrick and his eyes land on Jaime and Brienne. The noise he makes as he stumbles towards them eats at Brienne’s already broken heart.

“No,” Tyrion sobs. “Jaime.”

Brienne moves back, but only enough for Tyrion to get close to his brother. He brings a hand up to Jaime’s face as tears stream down his own. “Oh Jaime.”

Everything happens in a blur after that. Brienne eventfully has to pull herself away. She cleans herself up, only when Lady Sansa tells her to. But she doesn’t sleep. As dawn starts to rise she goes outside to where the dead have been lined up.

She’s not sure how long she stands there before Tyrion joins her. They stand in silence, their eyes on Jaime’s still form. She brings a hand up to his head and closes her eyes.

He’s already so cold. His face pale. He doesn’t look like her Jaime anymore.

They stand there in silence until the castle starts to awaken and others join them. Jon Snow gives a speech that Brienne barely hears. When he’s done they’re given a final chance to say goodbye.

Brienne realizes she ought to say something. Tyrion had been Jaime’s brother, someone he loved dearly. She could at least apologize for not being able to save him.

“I’m sorry,” Brienne says. The words are coming out of her mouth but she feels far away. “I failed him.”

“Oh Ser Brienne,” Tyrion says, giving her a sad smile. “Whatever happened I hardly think you failed him.”

Brienne shakes her head, “But I couldn’t save him.”

“You saved him in so many other ways,” Tyrion says, his gaze returning down to his brother. “I just wish he would have told you how much he cared for you.”

“He did,” Brienne says, feeling as if she could give him this small comfort. “I know he loved me. And he knew he was loved in return.”

Tyrion nods, “At least there’s that.”

“I’m not sure that makes it any easier,” Brienne admits.

Tyrion reaches out for her hand, “I’m not sure it ever does. At  least not right away. But hopefully one day it will.”

Brienne nods. She takes a deep breath and together they light the pyre with the torch they’re handed. They step back, standing together as the flames start to rise.

By now she should be used to loss. She lost her mother when she was young, and countless others sense. But this one feels different. Jaime’s loss has settled like a vice around her heart, squeezing tightly. She’s not sure if it’ll ever release. Not completely. Maybe one day it will hurt less, but the pain will never leave her completely.

But she knows she has to carry on. To keep fighting. It’s what Jaime would want for her. She can at least give him that.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! Kudos/Comments make my day. ♥  
> [My tumblr](http://tabbytabbytabby.tumblr.com/)


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